Tag Archives: men and women

True Leadership and Submission

Posted on by
6

What do biblical leadership and submission look like in the “real world”? I find partner dancing to present a fairly accurate picture of what God intends for these roles in marriage. And I was encouraged in this by what I learned in a recent study taught by Dr. John Yates, rector of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Raleigh, N.C. (also mentioned in my previous post).

Contention over marriage roles, inside and outside the Christian community, results from the fall, accentuated by viewing the scriptures through the context of our culture. Based on Dr. Yates’ thoroughly researched study, I challenge the following culturally accepted myths about the biblical roles in marriage. Read to the end for an explanation of how partner dance reflects the scriptural truths. Continue reading →

A Necessary and Complementary Partner

Posted on by
10

In a previous post I responded to a colleague’s question about how the follower is a “helper” in the dance (in reference to Gen. 2:18). Recently I have learned more about the context and meaning of the term that is translated “helper” in that verse, and consequently I want to revisit the question in light of this new information.

The new information comes from a study series taught by Dr. John Yates, rector of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Raleigh, N.C. In the study notes, Dr. Yates writes:

The term, “helper,” used to describe Eve is often used of God himself. [Exodus 18:4, Deuteronomy 33:7, 1Samuel 7:12] It essentially means one who provides what is lacking/what the other is incapable of on his or her own. A helper is therefore not an assistant but a necessary and complementary partner. Continue reading →

“We Were Made for This” Redux

Posted on by
Reply

In the previous post titled We Were Made for This, I wrote about how traditional partner dancing affirms both masculinity and femininity. Recently, I realized that the title phrase has a much broader application than simply affirming individual gender roles.

The realization goes back to an epiphany I had while dancing a few years ago. As I was dancing in perfect synchronization with my partner and with the infectious music, I had a moment of revelation: “This is how you were created to live.”

That insight was a spark that ignited MarriageDance. Our Creator made us to dance.
Now, you might be thinking … I don’t dance. And while dance is my “thing” and I have no doubt I was made for it, I realize that everyone out there does not feel the same way. But whether or not you physically move to music, I believe dance embodies qualities of life that our Creator intends for everyone.

Dance is joyful and fun. It’s adventurous. Most people have some trepidation at one time or another about getting out on the dance floor, hence the common proverb, “Dance like no one is watching.”

There’s more to dance than what you see. I recently observed a dance competition, and I could tell a difference between those who were following a set of choreographed steps and those who were truly dancing. This “more than meets the eye” quality embodies a connection with something or someone beyond ourselves.

Our Creator made us for joy, adventure and a deep-rooted connection with Himself and with other people — including a notably distinct connection with a partner in marriage.

In the words of a best-selling country pop song recorded by Lee Ann Womack, “When you get the choice to sit it out or dance — I hope you dance.”

Would Dance Lessons Benefit your Marriage?

Posted on by
1

Have you taken dance lessons with your spouse? What was your experience?

At a conference I attended, I met a woman who willingly shared her story after I mentioned the concepts of this blog. She described how dance lessons with her husband reflected the bigger picture in their relationship.

Explaining that her husband’s personality was easygoing and somewhat timid, she indicated these characteristics were displayed in their lessons as they are in life. With her encouragement in the lessons, he began to assert himself in his leadership role. As he grew more comfortable doing so in the dance, she started noticing a change in him overall. To her delight, he began to be more bold and assertive in their relationship.

If you want to grow in partnership with your spouse, consider dance lessons. The experience provides an opportunity to try out something new … more than just new dance steps. A couple I know applied their experience from dance lessons to their give and take in disagreements. “It made a difference with our first fight,” said the husband. “We do a better job of communicating in conflict.”

In a post on his Complete Life Fitness blog, coach Stuart Palmer writes about an observation of couples he and his wife have instructed in dance: “… we continue to see that couples who dance together generally have better relationships and deeper intimacy. Not only that, but just about every couple we’ve taught proclaims that learning to dance together parallels learning to have a better relationship.”

Have dance lessons with your spouse impacted your marriage, for better or worse? Please share your experiences!

Copr 2011 MarriageDance

Vive la difference!

Posted on by
1

In this post on The Marry Blogger, Stu describes an interaction between his four-year-old son and a girl. It’s a simple exchange that demonstrates the innate differences in boys and girls.

We’re all individuals, of course, but the Creator planned and created males and females differently by design. And He declared “it was good.” (Gen. 1:27)

Male/female differences come into play in partner dancing because the partnership is made of one male and one female. Perhaps the first difference that comes to mind is the propensity for dancing itself.

It is unusual to find a woman who does not like to dance (though there are some). It is not unusual to find a man who does not like to dance.

Dancing makes women feel beautiful. Most of us love skirts that twirl and being led around the dance floor by a kind gentleman. I meet women on a regular basis who tell me that their husbands won’t dance. It’s unfortunate since dance provides the perfect opportunity for him to be a hero, romance his wife, get a workout and have fun all at the same time!

For the men who are brave enough to try it, they often find that they enjoy being “in charge” of (leading) the dance. And with the right instruction, they may find that they succeed and even excel at it.

Once they are dancing together, the man and the woman may be required to make some accommodations for their partners. Take the size of their steps for instance. A man may need to take smaller steps to dance comfortably with a woman who is not as tall as he is. A woman may need to take larger steps than usual when she is dancing with a man who is much taller than she is.

Continuing this look at dance as a metaphor for Christian marriage, dance provides a picture of a male and female couple working together beautifully in partnership, just as the Creator intended. And I propose that picture reflects what He intended for marriage.

Vive la difference! Let’s dance!

Copr 2010 MarriageDance

Dancing to the Same Song

Posted on by
5

One of the keys to dancing with a partner successfully is listening for and dancing to the beat of the music. When both partners hear and respond in sync to the musical beat, the dance will flow much easier.

To what “music” are you listening in your marriage dance? Are you and your spouse dancing to the same song?

God’s voice could be said to be the “music” in the dance of Christian life. Scripture says: “The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me.” (John 10:27, Amplified Bible) If both you and your partner are listening for God’s voice with the intent to follow it, the “dance” will be much easier for the two of you.

Occasionally, I have danced with a leader who is “off beat,” and it is a real challenge to follow him. If you are the follower in a Christian marriage, it will be much easier for you to follow the leader when you know he is listening and following God’s voice.

In addition to helping keep a couple “in sync” (or unified), the music provides inspiration for the dance. If you and your spouse seem out of sync or uninspired lately, maybe it’s time to stop and listen to the Music. Are you dancing to the same song? Are you both tuning into God’s voice?

Copr 2010 MarriageDance