A Necessary and Complementary Partner

In a previous post I responded to a colleague’s question about how the follower is a “helper” in the dance (in reference to Gen. 2:18). Recently I have learned more about the context and meaning of the term that is translated “helper” in that verse, and consequently I want to revisit the question in light of this new information.

The new information comes from a study series taught by Dr. John Yates, rector of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Raleigh, N.C. In the study notes, Dr. Yates writes:

The term, “helper,” used to describe Eve is often used of God himself. [Exodus 18:4, Deuteronomy 33:7, 1Samuel 7:12] It essentially means one who provides what is lacking/what the other is incapable of on his or her own. A helper is therefore not an assistant but a necessary and complementary partner. Continue reading

Made for Adventure

The adage “Dance like no one is watching” is well-known. I’ve seen it on posters, plaques, pillows, coffee mugs, trivets and more.

It’s usually accompanied by the additional suggestions of “Love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” Sometimes you’ll also find “Work like you don’t need the money.”

I suspect the reason for this maxim’s popularity and ubiquity is that it resonates with the adventurous spirit within us. Yet — perhaps more often than not — though we want to follow our adventurous spirit, we have apprehension for one reason or another. We fear what others will think or want to avoid pain. Continue reading

Dance, Romance for Your Valentine

Fellow blogger Sheila Gregoire and her husband take ballroom dance lessons. In today’s post, she writes about her experience and why she loves it:

Here are some excerpts:

It really does change your relationship. It makes you work together. It makes you smile.

In most areas of our lives today, the sexes are interchangeable. A woman can do whatever a man can do, and vice versa. Dancing is one of the few areas of life where you have to either be a man or be a woman. You each have very defined roles, and it reminds you that you are two very different halves of one whole.

… If you’ve ever longed to hear her [your wife] say, “You decide and I’ll follow,” you’ve got to hit the dance floor.

Dancing doesn’t work if she tries to take control. You [the man] really do get to decide pretty much everything. And once she realizes that it works better that way, she can be putty in your hands. Plus, it is awfully romantic.

While you get to feel like a man, she gets to feel like a princess as you twirl her around. … It’s about treating her like she’s precious, and showing her off to the world. What woman doesn’t want to be treated like that?

Sheila’s comments sound similar to some of my previous posts. It’s nice to get confirmation from another dancer’s point of view.

So what are YOU waiting for? Valentine’s weekend is the perfect time to make plans to take a dance class with your spouse. If you still need more inspiration, listen to these romantic, dance-themed songs this weekend. (Hopefully, I’ve included a little something for everyone … classics, country, musicals, etc.)

• Could I Have This Dance, Anne Murray
• Save the Last Dance for Me, Michael Buble (and others)
• I Just Want to Dance with You, George Strait
• Come Dance With Me, Frank Sinatra (and others)
• Shall We Dance, The King and I Soundtrack
• I Could Have Danced All Night, The King and I Soundtrack
• Dance Me to the End of Love, Leonard Cohen
• Why Don’t We Just Dance, Josh Turner
• We Will Dance, Steven Curtis Chapman
• Dance, Jeff and Sheri Easter

What other dance-themed love songs can you add to the list?

Copr 2010 MarriageDance

A Challenge to Wives: Who is Leading?

Since posting A Challenge to Leaders in October, I’ve wanted to post a counterpart for followers.

Finding a recent blog post by Stuart McDonald has given me the perfect opportunity. In his post titled Why Must The “Manolos” Wait? The Idea Of Women Pursuing Men, McDonald considers whether it is acceptable for women to play the role of initiator in male/female relationships.

While explaining that balance is important, he writes: “You do still want him to feel like a man, especially the man in this relationship, don’t you, ladies? We feel like men when we’re allowed to take charge and lead.”

So my challenge to ladies is this: Are you allowing your spouse to lead while you actively and intentionally follow? If not, why not?

Consider 1 Peter 3:5 (quoted here from the New Living Translation): “This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.”

In verse 7, Paul writes to husbands: “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. … She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

These verses describe a balanced and caring lead and follow between equal partners.

If you and your spouse need practice leading and following, why not take dance lessons? It’s a fun and active way for him to practice leading and you to practice following. By doing so, the two of you could find more balance and role clarity for your marriage.

Wives, what makes it easy or difficult for you to follow your husband’s lead? Has anyone tried dancing as a means of learning and practicing lead and follow? Please share your story.

Copr 2010 MarriageDance