Monthly Archives: May 2009

The Framework of Communication

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Whether in dance or marriage, effective communication between partners is fundamental.

A couple recently learning to dance discovered the “secret” was in the communication which comes from the connection or dance frame.

The frame is created by four points of connection between the dancing couple. When these connection points are solid and secure, better communication – and dancing – will result. The connection points create the channel through which the leader indicates the dance steps he is planning.

To keep these connection points working and the lines of communication open, both leader and follower must have the proper posture and muscle tone. Neither partner can shoulder the entire responsibility for maintaining open lines of communication; it must be a mutual endeavor.

This connection, and a unified effort to respond to the music, creates the dance. The specific steps are insignificant as long as the leader is leading, the follower is following and both are dancing to the same song.

Communication is a lifeline in a unified marriage as well. “We need to be solid together in the core of our union and let the dance flow from there,” said one partner in the couple learning to dance. “Becoming one … on the dance floor and in our unions as husband and wife … is the only way to truly be successful in either endeavor.”

Copr 2009 MarriageDance

Complements by Design

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In dance circles I’ve heard it said that “The woman is the picture; the man is the frame.” This speaks to the individual and complementary roles of the woman and the man in the dance.

A frame around an artwork provides a complement to the art not a distraction. It may be artistic in its own right, but it does not compete. Rather it focuses attention on and brings out the best features of the artwork it supports and protects.

The same can be said in dance, though it is true in some dances more than others. As a general rule, the man provides the structure through his lead. The woman is able to add creative flourishes or “art” to the dance as she follows, particularly if she is an experienced dancer. This may be most obviously demonstrated in ballroom dance moves such as an oversway, throwaway and develope. She is responsible for supporting her own weight in any move other than a lift,  but the structure or set up provided by the man is essential to the proper execution of such moves.

Additionally like the frame, the dance leader has responsibility for protecting his partner. This can be particularly challenging on a crowded dance floor.

How is this like a Christian marriage? Husbands and wives have individual, complementary roles. The man’s leadership offers structure and protection for his wife.

Christian author John Eldredge writes that the essence of a man is his strength and the essence of a woman is her beauty. Both strength and beauty are characteristics of God, in whose image both men and women are made. They work together like a picture and its frame.

Copr 2009 MarriageDance