On my most recent post, The Great Adventure, a reader commented: “Marriage provides constant opportunity for emotional risk-taking.” His words provide the perfect segue for this new post on intimacy.
Now each reader most likely has his or her own definition of and associations with that term, so for the purpose of this blog post I am using the term to refer to close familiarity or relationship; closeness. That’s intimacy in the broadest terms which can encompass the more specific aspects of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy.
I believe the blog comment introduces this topic perfectly because emotional risk-taking is necessary for intimacy. Deep down, we all crave close connections with others (including God and our spouse) yet we fear it at the same time.
“The word marriage implies intimacy, and intimacy implies vulnerability,” writes John Paul Jackson, referring to intimacy and vulnerability as “two profoundly personal and often frightening sentiments.”
God created marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships. It’s the closest connection we have with another human being on our planet.
“A true marriage is a union of one spirit with another. It is a deeply intimate binding of two souls, where more than just thoughts and secrets are shared,” Jackson writes.
How does your marriage reflect this divine intention? Are you and your spouse growing in intimacy with each other and with God?
The spiritual union of marriage can be illustrated in partner dance, bringing this discussion into the context of this blog. Couples dancing together are often described as “moving as one.”
Dance instructors Stuart and Tracy Palmer describe how dancing moves beyond the figurative in a blog post:
… we continue to see that couples who dance together generally have better relationships and deeper intimacy. Not only that, but just about every couple we’ve taught proclaims that learning to dance together parallels learning to have a better relationship. And it’s true; the couples that look the best on the dance floor have learned to be better partners. They understand their individual roles and know how to enhance their partnership.
How has a shared experience such as dancing together increased intimacy in your marriage?
Another excellent post! As I was reading, a thought came to mind; let me know what you think. Without intimacy we won’t realize our destiny. As individuals we find intimacy with God which brings us to our destiny, but also as marriage partners we only find our destiny as a couple as intimacy grows in the three chord relationship. In other words, If you want to find your destiny you must fight for intimacy!
I agree, Stuart. Relationships are at the heart of God, all He does and all His good plans for us — our destiny. So growing in intimacy with Him and in close relationship with others, such as our spouse, takes us closer to fulfilling our destiny. And it requires fighting for … the enemy and our fallen human nature both oppose the vulnerability and transparency that lead to deepest intimacy.
The simplest of things has strengthened my marriage that was nearly over with. We saw a counselor and were advised to enjoy the little things and not sweat the small stuff. That is what we did, the toilet seat being up was forgotten and making dinner together or folding laundry together became the mini sparks that lit my marriage on fire again.
Praise God for the reconciliation of your marriage! Thanks for sharing your experience with others and for joining the conversation, Cara.