Separate But Equal

Dance, like marriage, is about giving and taking … a cooperation of two people in balance as a unit. The balance of give and take creates a cooperative environment wherein each works with the other in complementary roles to dance in unison.

I received these comments from a dancing friend in response to one of my posts. They remind me that an inviting lead and a receptive follow are integral to the dance. The two roles are clearly distinct and equally valuable.

Imagine the results of one dance partner “gone bad.” Without a clear leader, the dancing couple would not move or, in the case of a contest of wills, the dance would become a tug of war. Without a willing follower, the leader would resort to pulling, pushing or dragging or else give up the dance altogether.

But when partners fulfill their individual roles with a spirit of cooperation, the result is graceful movement across the dance floor as a single unit.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NIV) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NLT)

Purposefully and in his image, our Creator crafted men and women distinctly, separate but equally valuable, intended to work together in a complementary partnership.

Copr 2009 MarriageDance

5 thoughts on “Separate But Equal

  1. I totally agree with it.. if a couple does not cooperate well in a relationship, they will not work well.. and their dance will tend to end stepping on each others’ foot and hurt each other. Conflict in marriage can be solved by a couple who treats each other as partners. A lot of understandings and respect for each other.

    • ellensteve on said:

      Heart touching specially these lines, :) (Y)
      “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NIV) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NLT)”
      Common Marriage Issues

  2. I like the metaphor. I was just sharing with some co-workers yesterday about the biblical roles of a husband and wife in marriage and this metaphor would have made it much easier to describe.

  3. a “dance” is a perfect analogy of any relationship. I observe the same in parent/child relationships too.

    We get familiar with each others moves and styles to the point that we can begin to pre-anticipate how the other will respond.

    The dark side of this is that often, our knowledge of the other person’s responses can be used to manipulate. Sadly, I have been on both sides of this. Gladly, I now recognize it and it was indeed the analogy of a “dance” between two people that helped me see how some relational dynamics work.

    Someone prone to care-taking or co-dependency may allow their partner to make strange, unhealthy, or uncomfortable steps/moves in their relational dance. And by enabling these dangerour or hurtful moves, they only continue.

    Yet if one partner changes their steps or style, the other it automatically changes the dance. Figuring out what steps work comfortably and respectfully for both is what makes a great dance and a great relationship. In my experience anyway.

    Ciao.

    Chaz

  4. marriagedance on said:

    Thanks for joining the conversation!

Leave a Reply