Enjoying the Divine Design


Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In his book, Men and Women: Enjoying the Difference, Larry Crabb shares his perspectives on God’s design of the genders and the joy that can be found in celebrating the truth of it. (Unfortunately the design is frequently misunderstood, which Dr. Crabb addresses in his book.) The following paragraph caught my attention:

“When husbands are masculine, wives tend to go ‘off duty.’ They feel relieved of the relentless pressure to make things go as they should. They relax in the strength of an advocate that frees them to more easily realize the other-centered joy of their womanhood. When wives are feminine, husbands gain confidence in handling responsibilities, and are drawn to warmly enjoy and profoundly respect the woman whose involvement with them means more to their hearts than the most coveted honor or  achievement could ever mean. They feel strengthened in deep parts of their being where nothing but femininity can touch.”

In Dr. Crabb’s description of masculinity and femininity here, I see a reflection of the lead and follow in partner dance. Could the dynamic he describes be a primary reason why so many women desire to dance with their spouse? Equally, are men affirmed in their masculinity when they embrace dancing with their wives?

To dance together is to embrace, celebrate and enjoy God’s holy and good design for us as male and female.

Does “high performance” describe your marriage?

“Dancing with you is like driving a Porsche.”

I recognized this as a generous compliment from my dance partner, even though I’m not a sports car enthusiast.

Yet to satisfy my curiosity, I searched online to find out what people had to say about driving a Porsche. Here are some findings I believe reflect the intent of the leader’s comment:

“Quick and responsive steering”



Continue reading

True Leadership and Submission

What do biblical leadership and submission look like in the “real world”? I find partner dancing to present a fairly accurate picture of what God intends for these roles in marriage. And I was encouraged in this by what I learned in a recent study taught by Dr. John Yates, rector of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Raleigh, N.C. (also mentioned in my previous post).

Contention over marriage roles, inside and outside the Christian community, results from the fall, accentuated by viewing the scriptures through the context of our culture. Based on Dr. Yates’ thoroughly researched study, I challenge the following culturally accepted myths about the biblical roles in marriage. Read to the end for an explanation of how partner dance reflects the scriptural truths. Continue reading

A Necessary and Complementary Partner

In a previous post I responded to a colleague’s question about how the follower is a “helper” in the dance (in reference to Gen. 2:18). Recently I have learned more about the context and meaning of the term that is translated “helper” in that verse, and consequently I want to revisit the question in light of this new information.

The new information comes from a study series taught by Dr. John Yates, rector of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Raleigh, N.C. In the study notes, Dr. Yates writes:

The term, “helper,” used to describe Eve is often used of God himself. [Exodus 18:4, Deuteronomy 33:7, 1Samuel 7:12] It essentially means one who provides what is lacking/what the other is incapable of on his or her own. A helper is therefore not an assistant but a necessary and complementary partner. Continue reading

Intended for Intimacy

On my most recent post, The Great Adventure, a reader commented: “Marriage provides constant opportunity for emotional risk-taking.” His words provide the perfect segue for this new post on intimacy.

Now each reader most likely has his or her own definition of and associations with that term, so for the purpose of this blog post I am using the term to refer to close familiarity or relationship; closeness. That’s intimacy in the broadest terms which can encompass the more specific aspects of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy.

I believe the blog comment introduces this topic perfectly because emotional risk-taking is necessary for intimacy. Deep down, we all crave close connections with others (including God and our spouse) yet we fear it at the same time. Continue reading

The Great Adventure

Steven Curtis Chapman’s contemporary Christian classic, The Great Adventure, inspires my adventurous heart — which affirms to me that curiosity, exploration and risk-taking are part of our Creator’s plan for us. Consider these lyrics:

Started out this morning
In the usual way
Chasing thoughts inside my head
Of all I had to do today
Another time around the circle
Try to make it better than the last

I opened up the Bible
And I read about me
Said I’d been a prisoner
And God’s grace had set me free Continue reading