A Challenge to Wives: Who is Leading?

Since posting A Challenge to Leaders in October, I’ve wanted to post a counterpart for followers.

Finding a recent blog post by Stuart McDonald has given me the perfect opportunity. In his post titled Why Must The “Manolos” Wait? The Idea Of Women Pursuing Men, McDonald considers whether it is acceptable for women to play the role of initiator in male/female relationships.

While explaining that balance is important, he writes: “You do still want him to feel like a man, especially the man in this relationship, don’t you, ladies? We feel like men when we’re allowed to take charge and lead.”

So my challenge to ladies is this: Are you allowing your spouse to lead while you actively and intentionally follow? If not, why not?

Consider 1 Peter 3:5 (quoted here from the New Living Translation): “This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.”

In verse 7, Paul writes to husbands: “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. … She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

These verses describe a balanced and caring lead and follow between equal partners.

If you and your spouse need practice leading and following, why not take dance lessons? It’s a fun and active way for him to practice leading and you to practice following. By doing so, the two of you could find more balance and role clarity for your marriage.

Wives, what makes it easy or difficult for you to follow your husband’s lead? Has anyone tried dancing as a means of learning and practicing lead and follow? Please share your story.

Copr 2010 MarriageDance

2 thoughts on “A Challenge to Wives: Who is Leading?

  1. Wonderful idea to take dance lessons… problem though – as my hubby won’t do such a thing :-(

    Any other ideas?

    • marriagedance on said:

      It is unfortunate that many men, like your husband, are reluctant about dancing. As a dancer myself, I have met numerous men who, once they have tried it, have been surprised how much they really enjoy it. I don’t know of any other recreational activity in which lead/follow is built in like dancing. Readers, do you have any other ideas?

      In this video, Sheila Gregoire’s husband, Keith, explains why he found dance lessons with his wife worthwhile: http://bit.ly/UFSLU

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